Incompetent Drivers

There are three types of automobile drivers down here in Southern Florida:

TYPE 1: Never leaves the middle lane of RT95. Doesn't matter if he/she's only going 45mph. Same applies to multi-lane surface streets at a lesser speed. Once they pick their lane they never change regardless of their speed, unless of course, they see their turn which is always at the last second. Heaven forbid you find yourself on either side of them when they need to turn, because they don't look...they just turn. On rare occasion I HAVE seen them use a turn signal, but it does not matter if you are the poor sucker unable to get out of their way. They have their eyes on their goal, and they will make it come hell, high water, or some poor innocent.....They are generally driving big and/or expensive cars, and seem to have a sense of entitlement to the road, everyone else be damned. Then after nearly killing themselves and you, they give you that: “what’s the matter with you, don’t know enough to get out of my way?” look.

TYPE 2: Jimmy-Bob the NASCAR wannabe. 150MPH up (or down) RT95 bobbing and weaving and on occasion, trying to draft. Often seen in a pick-up truck that you need a step ladder to get into the cab. So high in fact, that if you put anything in the pick-up bed, it is never seen again, unless of course, you are talking about the empty beer cans and trash that blows about on flights up and down the highway. Sometimes drives a big SUV. (On another note, what is it with all the SUV's down here? It doesn't snow. I usually see them belly up on the roadside in the rain.....so what gives? That topic should be given its own thread...lol).

TYPE 3: "I learned to drive using a cart pulled by a small goat, back home". These types are generally Hispanic or black. This is not a racial bias, but strictly my observation as to who operates these errant vehicles. They drive as if they are using bumper cars. Case in point: I witnessed a +/- 1998 Toyota Corolla operated by what appeared to be a small Hispanic male broadside an older woman who was trying to exit a CVS onto Congress. The Toyota was traveling about 20mph, and it didn't appear to me he ever hit the brake, even though he had a clear line of vision for at least 100 feet. He did not try to evade her at all - just drove into the side of her car. His wife was with him, and they were both dressed very colorfully. His car bounced off the woman's (probably 5 year old) Lexus, and the look of surprise on his face was comical. Apparently, it did little mechanical damage to his car as he slowly backed up, pulled out into the next lane and drove off, at the aforementioned 20mph. In the process, he never checked behind him, and cut off another car, nearly causing a second collision. He continued slowly puttering up the road as far as I could see him, seemingly oblivious…….

I won't get into the older folks who should not be driving at all - you know the type...they are usually wearing those big sunglasses that look like they would be suitable for use while welding. Then there are the folks that get on the highway going south in the northbound lanes. How about those landscaping trucks with 8 employees standing up in the back while they go down the road. Do you think their insurance company (or OSHA) knows they're doing that?? lol.....I could go on and on but I shall restrain myself.

Funny thing is, most people say the drivers up north are terrible. I spent most of my life up there, and they're a breeze compared to the mess down here.

By the way......who he hell designed all these parking lots down here? There must be a "Florida Technical School of Parking Lot Design"...that draws in late night television viewers and slackers, because they all seem to have paid good money to learn how to design a convoluted mess....but again, another topic....